you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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