her vagine was all disorganized.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
