I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sorry about my life...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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