If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
