you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
