You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
