He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
