Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
