Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
