Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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