how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need a beard to bite.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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