Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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