make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
