the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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