I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
