So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
