the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dicks are not precious.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
