i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
