PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
