we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
