i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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