I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
