Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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