i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
