You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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