i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
