i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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