Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
