Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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