This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
