So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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