I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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