This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
