i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
