I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
