do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
