Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
