I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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