FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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