I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
