A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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