Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
