FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
