stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
