Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
