Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
