omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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