my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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