MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
