i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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