not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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