Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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